Firsts - Part Eight - Christmas 2006

I want to write about Christmas now, right before Thanksgiving, as a reminder to anyone who might be reading this to love each other with everything you have... Oh, and by the way, he's the best Santa ever isn't he? (with the possible exception of the skewampus mustache!! Mrs. Claus should have fixed that!!)

Sunday, Christmas Eve, 2006

The furnace had been going off frequently. It was cold and I needed to think of Judy and Allen as well as myself...so I decided to call someone to come fix it. I knew it was going to be expensive to call on Sunday, let alone Christmas Eve, but I knew it would be even more on Christmas Day. The repairman said he would be here between 10:00-2:00 - so much for church! I tried to straighten the house some and wrapped some presents. Of course, repairmen never come when they say they will...does anybody? Bob and Shirley Craig dropped by the house after church about 2:30 to see how things were going. I told them I was waiting. Again, they were my angels right here on earth. They said they had no plans for the night and they would be happy to let them in. It was Christmas Eve...I couldn't ask them to do that. They insisted and promised that I wasn't ruining their night. I learned so many lessons during this time...and this was one of them. You MUST let people help you. We learn about serving others in church all the time. Gordon was always stubborn about letting people help him do anything...but how do they get their opportunities for blessings if we stop them. I was so grateful. I called the repair people and asked them to call Bob when they were ready to come and I left for the hospital.

I got there about 3:30 and again, no real change...maybe just a little more awake. I had to keep reminding myself it was really Christmas Eve. It was a Christmas I'll never forget, that's for sure. I sat by Gord's side until about 7:00 (when they ask me to leave) thinking about Chrismas's past and how next year we'd have to make up for it. It was Tami's first year away from home at Christmas as well, and even though she had Todd, I think she struggled because she was worried and felt she should be home with me. This was the plan before Gord got sick. She would spend their first Christmas in St. George with Todd's family and the next year with us. I wanted her to stick with the plan. Her Dad would be home next year and so would she and her new family... and all would be well in the world. I could get through this. It was so hard leaving him there. I felt like I was deserting him on Christmas...but he didn't even know!

I went on home and picked up a couple of things and there was a note from Bob on my kitchen counter. "When it rains, it pours". There was the receipt for the repair bill. $711. The part itself was close to $500. Because of the generosity of some dear friends, I had enough to cover the check. I didn't really even panic. It was so not important in the whole scope of things. In fact, it was another blessing sent our way.

I left the house and drove to Kaysville. Normally, on Christmas Eve we would drive up to North Ogden and spend Christmas Eve with Gordon's family, having dinner and exchange gifts, then on the way home we would stop at the cemetery and leave a candle burning for my Mom...and then come home. Well, I knew I wouldn't make the family party, but I wanted to at least go to the cemetery...and I did. I lit a candle and wished so much she was still here. I stopped at Judys on my way home and ate a little dinner. I stayed for about an hour and then came on home.

I got home about 11:00. Judy S called me when she heard I was home and said that her and Allen were going to Walgreens at midnight!!! I love this story because it always reminds me of how obedient Judy is to her Heavenly Father. She takes "keep the Sabbath Day holy" very seriously. It was Sunday and she would not consider stepping into the store until 12:01 a.m. on Monday! She is a valiant spirit! I went to Walgreens with them and finally found my bed about 1:30 a.m.

Christmas Day 2006

I'm so glad it's almost over...I woke up around 8:30. Judy's family had come to her house for breakfast. She called and invited me down. I got up and dressed and joined them. We exchanged out gifts and I left for the hospital.

Well, the best Christmas gift of all was that they moved him out of ICU and into a regular room. I was happy...and sad. I was happy that he had progressed enough to be able to be moved, but sad to know he was leaving the level of care he had been getting. The shock/trauma ICU, where they handle the worst cases, is an efficient remarkable team of people. We owe a lot to them. While we were waiting for him to be moved, Judy S brought the girls up to see Gord again. Abbie sang to him. She sang "Silent Night" and could hardly make it through the song. She held his hand and sang "Breath of Heaven". It was beautiful. Not only were earthly angels among us right then, but angels with wings were there as well...music has a way of inviting the spirit...and Gordon loved Abbie's music. He motioned for her to move closer (by barely moving his hands) and he gave her a kiss. It was Kyia's birthday and she brought him her "Princess Wand" in hopes it would help him get better. It was a beautiful touching experience.

Lynne came up to visit about the time they were moving him. I went downstairs and we visited while we waited for him to get settled. It was so nice of her to come on Christmas Day. It was nice to have someone to visit with while waiting. We got the word that he was settled in and went to see the new "digs". It was room 654. What a difference a room makes!!!! It was immediately obvious that the level of care was night and day! At this point, the communication with Gord was better, but still difficult. His speech was very low and unclear. He hadn't used his vocal cords for weeks and he was still fighting the end of the sedation drugs. I went home about 9:00 - glad that Christmas was over, but thankful that it ended on a positive note.

Tues, Dec 27th, 2006

It was a holiday from work for me. I got up and straightened up a bit for Tami and Todd. I've really let things go at home. I'm so excited to see Tami and I know she's anxious to see her Dad again. They drove up from St. George. I met them for lunch at Hires and then we all went up to the hospital. Gordon was happy to see her. He talked to her quite a bit and teased some with the nurses. Tami seems to be able to communicate with him a little better than I do. She hears him better, for one thing. She brought in his Christmas gifts and opened them for him. She bought him some new Rebok slip on sandals with "the boys" logo on top. He was pleased and told her in some sort of language to "put them on him". We uncovered his feet and she did the best she could. It was quite fun to watch!

They spent the whole day there with Tami right by his side. They have quite a bond. Tami is definitely her mother AND her father's child. Sometimes I think she's so much like him and that's a good thing! Todd stayed right there with us. He's a great guy. I know he and Gordon would have had great times together. Tami said she always wanted to marry a cross between Jeff Elder and her Dad...and I think she nailed it! We left and went to the Broiler for dinner and then came back to the hospital. He was asleep and we were all tired...so we went on home.

The next morning, we went straight to the hospital. A storm was coming in and Tami & Todd had to drive to Denver. They stayed at the hospital until about Noon and then needed to get on their way to try to be ahead of the storm. Gord asked her if she would be back in the morning and she had to tell him no... but that she would be back as soon as she could. When we left the room, she cried...we all did. I didn't want them to go and she didn't want to leave her Dad. It was an ugly day. I went to work, but struggled all day. I went back to the hospital. It seems so dark and dreary in that room...and crowded! I have a hard time hearing Gord when he talks. His bed is noisy and his voice is low...it's so frustrating for me, but worse for him. I know he gets frustrated with me. I hate him being there.

And so it was, that Christmas of 2006. It was the best of times...and the worst of times. It was the hardest, most lonesome Christmas, but there were some beautiful lessons learned and experienced. To my friends and family...don't let Christmas pass you by with the busy, commercial frenzy that comes with it. Don't assume there will be many many Christmases to come. Hope that there will...and live and love like there won't......... Have a Happy Thanksgiving...and a very Merry Christmas!