Firsts - Part Four

It's Halloween week and I believe it's the "First" Halloween in many years that I have tried to ignore it! There are about three items in my house that say Halloween...other than that, it will pass by without me even knowing!! Gordon used to go get me bails of hay and corn stocks for the front porch. We would go get out pumpkins, usually in Layton and throw in a scarecrow here or there. It was fun thing for both of us. We looked forward to the kids coming treat or treating.
Last year wasn't good either, but at least I tried to be a little more festive by buying some pumpkins!!!! It's just not the same doing it alone...nothing is! I hope my interest in holidays returns one day.

I got out my journal that I "tried" to keep faithfully while Gord was sick and noticed that I had left out someone special that came the day after surgery that I want to acknowledge. Angie, Judy Sanders daughter, let Kyia and Abbie get out of school so they could come up and see Gordon...after all, Gordon is Abbie's favorite veterinarian!!!!!! (She was dedicating "God bless America" in one of her shows and she dedicated it to her favorite veterinarian rather than Veteran!!! It was the cutest mistake ever....but don't think we'll let her live it down. Gordon and Abbie had developed quite a liking for each other. Abbie helped "Pop" with the lawn and Pop bought Abbie hair extensions.....sounds like a good deal!!!! Anyway, I knew it was important for her to see him and so did Angie. I was very glad Angie let them come for awhile. They each got to see him. Allen and Judy S came up also. It was a very emotional time for the girls to see him because he didn't look good at all. He was very puffy and swollen and just didn't look like himself. Judy took us all downstairs and we had some breakfast together.

Emotions ran high that day.Bob, Dad, and Blake were all a little emotional about the fact that they could lose Gordon...and couldn't conceive of life without the "big guy"! It was very touching to see the strong men in my life feel so vulnerable.

The rest of the week went about the same, more surgeries to try to get him hooked up right and closed, lots of good people visiting, many tears. On Saturday I decided to stay home for a little while in the morning to catch up on a little housework and just have a little alone time. Gordon's cousin, Sherry Lewis, call, but I had missed the call and I thought I would call her later after I got an update on Gordon that day.The news that morning wasn't very good. They told me his temp and white count were still a little high, but more importantly his kidney function was not good. His potassium level was high and they worried that they may have to give him dialysis...just another blow! I heard that news on the phone at 6 a.m. I crawled back into bed and had a good cry, then I got up made some calls and went forward again, one step at a time! About 1:00 Sherry call again and when I answered, she asked if I couldn't go to dinner? They were here in Salt Lake specifically to see Gord. Sherry and he had been very close growing up, but hadn't see each other in years. She said she was so afraid that she wouldn't see him again so she and Cliff flew out just for a day to say hello. Of course, Gordon was in no position to carry a conversation yet, so Sherry, spunky as she is, took funny pictures with him and left a message that she was going to kick his :)ss if he didn't get better. She also brought St Louis gooey butter cake to bribe the nurses!!!!! We went to dinner and had nice time with them...Alta, Wendy, and Susan. It was
just too short and bummer circumstances. I hope I'll get to see her again someday!

The other part of this day was that Dr. Orme, the Attending Physician, wanted to meet with me. I call Bob and told him. Bob asked if he should come up and be with me and I told him I would be fine. I got to the hospital, walked in to talk to the Dr and Bob walked through the door. I have been so blessed to have had such wonderful people in my life...I didn't want to make him drive up, but was sure glad when he did. The Dr. just wanted to confirm the events of the day. He reassured us that they pull people through these sicknesses. I've been struggling with being very positive all day...and this helped...a little, but what helped the most was having my brother with me!

Sunday..I went to Sacrament meeting today. It was Jared Larsen's farewell. I sat in the very back with Judy S and Allen. It was a nice meeting, but I was feeling emotionally drained I decided that I didn't want to face the masses of well wishers after the meeting so I slipped out the back door and stepped out into the hall while the 2nd Ward was changing classes. Needless to say, it took awhile to get out of there. Time was mostly spend with Sister Lamb, Bishop Moore, and President Ostler. Gord had some friends in high places!!!!! Many others offered support and love. Ross Larsen followed me out of the meeting to check on Gordon. So many people love him. His name was mentioned Priesthood and Relief Society prayers. I came home, had a bowl of cereal and went to the hospital. I was sitting in Gord's room. His breathing seemed a little strained but they said it was OK and his heart rate was up. Soon after I got there Jack Sr and Judie came. I t was their 2nd visit. Judy behaved herself this time. Jack gets very emotional when he sees him...maybe he realizes they should have worked on their relationship earlier. No one wants to lose a child.

Angie, Kyia, and Abbie came into the waiting room. It was a fun surprise. They sat down and Angie started to cry! She expressed her love and worry for Gord She was very sweet. About that time Judy and Allen got there. Allen and I went in to see him first. I think Allen was a little shocked to see him look like he did. he was so sweet me. He told Gordon that he loved him and me as well. He was very kind. Next came Abbie and Angie and Abbie cried and said "I love you Pops". She rubbed lotion on his arm and dabbed his face with a cool cloth. She was tenderly caring for him. She had made a CD for Him for Christmas. Allen and Judy paid for the studio time. It was **beautiful**. I asked the nurse if we could play it in his room and come in all of us together and she said yes...so she brought in a CD player and we all listed to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, At Last, and Oh Holy Night (no dry eyes for that one). The nurses were even listening and wondered what angel was singing to him. The spirit was very strong in his room that night. The nurse said it appeared his heart rate was going down - angels singing could do that for you!!!!!!!!

They all left and I stayed with him to ponder on the blessings that we've shared together. It was so tender and humbling to reflect the past events and the people who loved us. I knew we were in the right place..that if Gordon was to heal, that was the place for it to happen. I knew that with all the wonderful people at the hospital and at home and with Heavenly Father's help, we'd get through this too!!!

I left the hospital walking quietly to my car. It's the time walking to the car and driving home where the feelings all get out and go haywire...sometime it's a quiet ride, sometimes it's full of tears that just can't stop. When I got home this particular night, Bob Craig and Bishop Larsen were walking up my sidewalk to come visit me. They came to ask if I would like a blessing...a blessing will help and sustain us during our trials, I never turn them down! Brother Craig blessed me with peace and strength to get through the days ahead. He always conveyed the right message to me. They listened and knew they were to come.

You know, it's kind of intereting...I don't think that Gordon felt he had a lot of friends or that maybe he wasn't good enough in some respects. He knew he had a lot of neighbors and people who he chatted and had fun with, but...if he could have only been coherent during the events of that first week. I think as sick as he was, it would have put a big smile on his face, to know so many people really loved him.

This is what life's all about folks..."As I Have Loved You, Love One Another" There are so many who need us...sometimes just to talk. In my own little blog world here where many may not read, I'm vowing to try to find someone to help at least weekly...... I double dog dare you to do better that that......................!!!!!